Urban space man, baby.

I've been feeling oddly urban today. Can't put my finger on what it is exactly. Might be that I've been wearing that cool jacket I got in Amsterdam last year. That I fit in to the jeans I bought in Amsterdam (I buy a lot of things in Amsterdam) four years ago, shit, when I was really young and really slim. That I've been having coffee with a zillion people. Talking to people on the bus. I've also been to the library, and I found a book called "Tom Tits new tricks" amongst the kids books. It was about scientific experiments for youngsters, but it was still pretty funny.

In Idle Idleness...

I've been doing nothing today. In a relative sense, of course. In a more immediate sense I've 1)got up, 2) had a shower, 3) checked e.mails, 4) had breakfast, 5) went shopping, 6) had tea, 7) played the guitar, 8) spoke to my brother on msn, 9) updated my bands website, 10) finished "Dance on my grave" by Aidan Chambers, 11) wrote a bit on my own book, 12) watched two (2) silly sitcoms, 13) cooked dinner, 14) ate dinner, 15) had coffee, 16) sat down by the computer again. So I guess I've not been doing nothing, when in fact I've done 16 things so far. Busy day indeed.

Twist and shout.

My neighbours are having really loud sex in the middle of the night. It's a constant phenomenon with them. Not once during the days have I heard them, but when I'm going to bed by sort of midnight-1-2-ish, they're always at it. Not that I particularly mind, I mean, I do want people to enjoy themselves. I guess it's not something that really bothers me that much, it's more something that I've had to notice. One of the reasons I like the nights so much is because I like the feeling of owning the world. And with the activity going on upstairs, they're kind of brutally reminding me that I don't.

Healthcheck? A cold and chestpains.

Not quite alive, not quite dead...

Being around someone with a mental illness is like being around someone who's neither alive nor dead. You remember what the person used to be like when he/she was well, but that person doesn't exist anymore. That person is dead. But physically, someone's there, so in that aspect he/she is still very much alive. It's just frustrating though. The person that should be in there somewhere just wont come out, no matter what you do. If you cry, scream, laugh, whatever, it doesn't matter, because the person you used to know isn't there anymore to react to it. It's just a shell. An empty shell.